Sadness befalls me.

I'm sorry, you can put the blame on me.

2010-09-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

I've been hurting so many people recently.
I know i have hurt you.
I know i am in the wrong.
I know i talked bad behind your back.
But i seriously am sorry.
Only god knows how sorry i am.
Please forgive me.
I really do not mean any harm.
VERY VERY SORRY.

Only time could heal.

2010-08-18T06:20:00.002-07:00

Yes, i have finally understand what have been going on.
"too much of something good is not good too"
You have been understanding me so much.
You spared me from my embarrassment.
I'm sorry for putting the pressure on you.
I should have not done that.
I should have tried looking for the answers by myself.
I should not treat you that way.
I should have...
I'm just disappointed with myself.
I'm not angry at everyone.
I'm just angry at myself.
This feeling, this is what they call regret.
Only time could heal we all.

If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

I hate that i love you.

2010-08-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

I dunno what's wrong with everybody.
Or what is wrong with me.
I would feel mad about almost everything.
YES! , i liked you, maybe i still do, but why is that wrong?
Everyone treats me as if i'm invisible.
When i play football or touch rugby, not once would anyone pass me the ball.
When i talk with people, people would just walk away as if i'm not there.
When i talk with her, she would give me one answer or ignore me.
Why am i isolated?
Why does everyone treat me like rubbish?
What did i do wrong?
I hate this.
I don't deserve this.
This feeling of loneliness.
It's easy for you guys to say, "stop being so negative".
But you are never in my shoes.

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop.

You and only you.

2010-08-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but i would always run out of things to ask you.
In the end, i would ask what hmwk we have.
Sometimes, i would not talk to you.
it's really depressing.
I said i've given up on you.
It felt as if i lied.
Coz, i still have my feelings for you,
Only stronger.
Whatever it is, I'm greatful to have known you.
Never once would i regret it.

Mr lonely.

2010-08-05T21:41:00.000-07:00

Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you've got the power
To make me weak inside
And girl, you leave me breathless
But it's okay
Cuz you are my survival
Now hear me say

I can't imagine
Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby, I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby, I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter
Maybe not
Cause I have known the safety
Of floating freely in your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
Cuz only you can save me
Oh, can't you see

I can't imagine
Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough
(Don't seem like long enough yeah)

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby, I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby, I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
Cuz you're the air that I breathe

Every time I breathe I take you in
(Cause every time I breathe yeah)
And, my heart beats again
Baby, I can't help it (baby I can't help it)
You keep me drowning in your love
And, every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby, I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love (ooh, ooh)
Baby I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love (got me drowning)
oh oh oh

You've got me drowning
You really got me drowning in your love

Baby, I can't help it
Can't help it oh no
(got me drowning)

Cause ever time I breathe I take you in (yes I do)
Then my heart beats again (Oh)
Baby, I can't help it (baby, I can't help it)
Keep me drowning in your love (oh no)
And every time I try to rise above (got me drowning)
I'm swept away by love
Baby, I can't help it
Keep me drowning in your love

Just a shadow.

2010-08-03T05:17:00.000-07:00

It was once upon a time.
Now you're ignoring me.
People are ignoring me.
it's always as if i am never there.
Just a shadow.
I'm sorry if i'm not there for you.
coz when you really want me to,
Then i will appear.

Love you, love you not.

2010-08-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

This is the day i realize, you're never gonna be mine.
Although i tried to show you my care and concern, you simply pushed it all away.
I said i would die for you, but i can't do it if you don't even trust me.
You are blinded all this while by your own world.
You could not see others. You always feel sad. You think others don't feel bad?
I think you're selfish. I think you're a coward.
You never gave me hope.
You never gave me trust.
You have no faith in me.
Why do i still love you despite all this?
It's because I have all this in you.
I trust, have faith and hoped for you.
But what can i do?
I can't possibly force you.
Guess there is really nothing i can do.
For i'm really weak without you.

Pain.

2010-07-26T06:12:00.000-07:00

You never knew anything about sadness.
You never ever feel that way.
You never go through the pain i did.
So don't tell me you hide pain in your smile.
Atleast your friend do no treat you unfairly.
It's you who do not treasure them.
They stand behind you and support you.
I don't have that.
I fall and pick myself up again by myself.
I don't get help.
But you, you got almost everything.
Five boys queing up for you.
You label me as your bestfriend.
Why do you act so cold towards me?
I called you, and you ask another person who is that boy talking to.
You have never gone through pain.
If you really know me well,
Than you'll understand the true meaning of pain.

One day, one day..

2010-07-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

Truthfully my blog is dead, but here i am, trying to bring it back to life.
It really is hard to like someone really badly, but even she do not know i like her.
I guess it'll be a total shock if i tell her now.
I am just trying to wait for the right time.
the time when i'll lose 10 kg, pass my exams, have her free of the four boys liking her and get her then.
i know that there will be no right time like sha said.
But i believe that one day, she'll understand and fall for me.

I fell for you !

2010-03-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

Soo...

both of my men are not communicating much wif me..
I dunno what's up wif them..
I feel lonely these days..
Ussually..
People text me..
But since they dun need me..
They'll forget abt me..
So..
There you go..
An emo post..

Fat hope !

2010-03-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Wazzup !
It's bad..
School is like..
Tmrw?!
Omg !
Well..
I've gotten over someone for real..
Coz...
I like another..
someone!
muahahaha..
LOL !
kk,since I'm talkin no sense...
let's just part?

To build me up and tear me down

2010-03-19T08:15:00.001-07:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down

,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.*
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Fun

2010-03-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

Firstly,i wann to say thank you to jacelyn for the skin..
THANK YOU!
haha..
Had lots of fun with ajmal yesterday!
We went cycling la..
it was super crazy!
As soon as we meet..
it starts to drizzle..
Ajmal says that his house is nearer..
But it was crazy far..
As soon as we reached under a void deck..
The rain was super heavy..
HAHA..
we start to use the blocks links to our advantage and finally met an open traffic light..
then..
there is when everything become wet..
haiz..
haha
we reach gek poh not long after that and eat french fries..
o.o
tasty!
haha..den we cycled and parted..
so there you go..
an adventurous day..
for now..
i feel like going to peninsula to buy a mini skateboard..
haha..
mum dun allow me to buy a big one after all..
haiz..
since it's raining...i'll stay at home and be a good boy..
lastly,I thought i could...
but sorry i couldn't...

DUN READ THIS POST

2010-03-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

It juz sux..
when you feel that someone does'nt want to talk to you ..
when that someone would say bye to you after a few sms ..
when that someone ignores you..
when that someone ...
Haiz ..
i painted my bicycle black ..
it looks awesome..
It's hard to keep something awful to yourself and that someone keep pressing you to tell em ..
please just dun abandon my trust for ya?
alrite ..
Coz if you do ..
All hell's gonna break lose ..
I got over ya ..
This time for real ..
Takecare^^

SPIKE! Birthdayy

2010-03-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it..
Some people remembered..
Some were confused..

Thanx to:
[Via msg]
Yourlanda<3
[via one on one]
Lala
Zaza
Shafiqa
Sofia
Raja Rasyidah
Shuhui
Jasmine
Zheng Han
HuiQi(reminded D:)
Syidah
Aiman
Jacelyn
[Via Facebook]
Ian Ang
Lala
Cdah
Ajmal
Faried Thabrani
Gayathri
Jacelyn
Suhaimi
Yourlanda<3
Shuhui
MeiLi
Kai Margera
Izzul
Shud
Nadd
El Fadli
Kirawan Prihadi
Deni Yusup
Nurul Khairiah
[Via blog]
Yourlanda<3

From family:

NurulNisa[sista]
Permai Permitasari[Bestest one and only aunt]
Saibawi[Bestest one and only uncle]
Safruddin[Father]
Indah Damayanti[Mother]

So thanx everybody!
And to those that may slip my mind..
I'm sorry!
btw...
3rd day of march hols...
There will be an outing...
If u really love me!
Do give me a present and join us on the outing!
Date : 17 Marr
Venue : Not confirm yet..
Time : 12 pm onwards
TAG ME if you want to leave a comment or follow..
Invited to all
Tc aites...

Bad Dayy*

2010-03-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

Today sux.
I said it to her..
she..
i..
I dun get it..
i told her i got over her..
but..only god knows..
i..
broke my favourite headphone..
i could not understand this..
haiz..
i got irritated by matin alot today..
but luckily i kept my cool..
about her...
I juz dunno..
Two more days..
Let's see if anybody treasures me..

blush

2010-02-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Spike here....
I am feeling bored now....
my hmwk so irritatingly irritating....
So,this girl makes me go crazy over her....
Too bad her phone prepaid is out....
i couldn't reach her...
So....
This girl blogged abt me....
it makes me *blush*...
haha...
I've longed for a sugar rush...but could not get one....
paham paham je lerh...
So...
I'm gonna continue my hmwk now...
Takecare everyone....
Especially u over there...
HAHAHA....
k,byez

Spikeout

2010-02-10T06:32:00.000-08:00

Hello!

It's been a long time since i update this dead blog of mine.....
So life in sec 3 is quite fun but hard to cope...
If i ever sleep in class,i'm sure i'll die....
so,i am improving my studies now....
i guess...

Btw,i am fallin for a girl...
She's 14 but goin 15 this 10 April.....
She's friendly and everything.....
She's studying in Northbrooks Secondary School...

Hope you guys know who this gurl is...
Cause.....
Nvm....

Bye...

2009-12-23T22:08:00.000-08:00

life in holidays was/were miserable but fun...
i get new stuff if i go out...but my money would oso disappear after a while....
as soon as ajmal return to sg....from india...
he went to malaysia...
matin's parents went to have honeymoon while leaving him with cousins at tampines...
now...i'll have to go friday prayer alone tmrw without them....
this sux...
i'm oso quite paranoid abt school...
however...
my wwe collection is really starting to rise...from 1 figure....it became 15...
now that is wad i would say cool....
tmrw's christmas...hope you christians have fun..haha

lolol,
Spike.....

2009-11-26T03:32:00.001-08:00

Sup people.
Nabila here, making Aidil's blog alive once again. [unlike Ajmal's filthy blog.]
So yeah, holidays are here and I miss hanging out with the three musketeers.
Three musketeers = Aidil, Ajmal, Matin.
I miss Aidil's horny jokes. I wonder if we will be in the same class again next year.
Oh, I wish.
Aidil, let's go out one day okay!
Okay, i'm done crapping.
Byebye ^^

boring luhh

2009-11-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

helloo...

holidays is sure boring...
btw matin and i are friends again..
we but...these two brothers of mine aere always having rugby...
sure is boring...
nobody to hang out with...
and...
ajmal is going to india this december to meet his old frens...
haha..
jk ah mal..
boring seyhh...
bye lah...
spike out...

I get it !!!!!!!

2009-11-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

helo!

i finally have it....
i finally get it...
i finally bought it...
i can't believe it...
ebay is great!!
i get rvd!!!
plus steel chair!!!
plus ladder!!!
plus video camera!!!
plus briefcase with contract!!!
plus world heavyweight title!!!
plus ECw title!!!

i can't believe it!!!
i dun care wad ppl say...
i love it!!!

bye...

my new shirts

2009-11-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

ehem...

2009-11-01T20:56:00.000-08:00

yo...

back to post....
I'm falling for her again...
except the feeling is strong this time...
I also have been updating class blog the last few days ago....
Currently tryin to lose weight fast...
going out to bugis later to find john cena t-shirts...

i'm outta here..

SpIkE out....

2009-10-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

this pictureis the latest wwe 2010 cover!!

yo...

i have played the latest wwe raw vs smackdown!2010...
the game was super fun!!!
irepeat...
like super fun!!!
ok...
tagged b4 u leave...
bye!

2009-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

wth..

went to post but nobody cares anyway...
today...
got some sad and fun moments...sad is the geog lesson...
fun is farm aerophonics stuff....
lazy ah to talk about both...the last few days tak online sebab terawih..
anak baek perh...
den...
i think i lyke sofia...hahaha..
crazy sia....
btw...that stupid jana banana....
he take my tf toys...
merepek siakk....
ask me and akmal some more to klean the benches at the courtyard....
wipe until black..
den ask to wash till white..
ask to dry some more..
testing our patience during ramadhan....
ish ish ish....
still...
after doin this...
he nvr return me...
go fuck la him..
tommorrow then wanna give me back..
stupid bastard..
den...
i think sofia is kinda cute.....
dunno larh..
she don't even like me...
shiok sendiri.....
kk

new name ah now...

SpIkE out...
rock on guys....

2009-08-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

erm
..........
dunno wad to blog sia..
k....let's see...
yesterday...
i make jas sad when i pick her to be our notetaker....
she emo...
sorry jas...
then i oreadi sad coz i make jas sad......
mr suhaimi come and disturb me..
irritating sia....
then for today....lyon and lu maw fight....
funny sia...
LU MAW!!!!dun disturb my blood brother..
smack u den u noe...
haha...jkjk..
den....
aft skool...went mac to eat mcspicy and do script for sci project..
den.....
me and matin tag team to create jokes at ajmal house..
ajmal mother good..
she give noodles to us...
we slurp it here and there.....
den...went home...
change into playground bully mode and use bicycle to disturb small kids...
den got this little bastard that make me angry sia....
stupid children...
went home and watch minibas...
all act cute sia......

and went to post...haha

kk...byes..

2009-08-17T06:20:00.000-07:00

hi...came to update..
for today...
i am very bad....
i came to class in a semangat way..
i on wwe john cena theme song as i entered the class.....
crazy jackass...
then.....i disturb everybody...
as usual...
bla bla bla
at recess....the auntie told me there were no more eggs...
i am sad seyhh
aft skool...
i escaped maths remedial...
said i got sci project....
i did something very wrong today...
i drop ShuHui fone...
i am very sorry shuhui.....
did'nt mean to...
u gave me the fone but i have not received it and u already let go...
seriously sorry...
watch the chinese yoyo gang showing off his skills...
then went to com club...
watch yoyo tricks..
then...
went down after com club...
meet matin and ajmal...
mixed wif rugby boys..
matin wanted to disturb huiqi...but she playing volleyball...
so mix at the front of pioneer sec..
eat 20cents crackers..
den went home....and eat rendang.....
SEDAP!!!
then...blogged...

that's all.....
CoOl KiD out....
oh...ya....

ReJeCtEd KiD out.....
die...
i mean bye...

2009-08-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

hi.....
today......erm....
i woke up late for my religious class....
cool or wad??
missed tuition and religious class... combo sia...
had breakfast wif the whole family at home...
and also go boon lay shopping centre to find pants for my uncle...
also went to flee market to see some goods...
then,we saw kuda kepang on our way home..
eat lunch as a family too....
and yesterday,watch wwe extreme rules...powerr...
all the matches were great...
then....
we watch silent hill...
scary....
and...
that's all....

ReJeCtEd KiD out....
byes....

Wad a day?

2009-08-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

hello....
for today....
i am supposed to go tuition...but...
i woke up at7 and thought it was too early...
so decided to sleep and woke up at 7.30....
unfortunately.....
woke up at 8.52...
so nvr go tuition...
then i decided to go bathe and read geog....
and ended up sleeping again till 1.34...
woke up and wanted to sms others badly..
forgotten that my prepaid expire on 15......
now seriously bored.....

haiya..
no one at home....
how worse can this day gets????

bye..........

2009-08-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

uhhh...
duuhhh.....ermm.....
hmmmm....
yeah.......that's it
that's the way....
today....nitam burpdaae
nothing special aniwae...haha...jkjk..
aniway
my psp was confiscated by my aunt...
today i want to bash up matin coz it's his burpdae...
but no time'
todae's mats test is seriously RBK
coz i can't understand wad the question is....
aniway....disturb shui,and nabila and shikin and ...
i oso dunno
anyway
being rejected is quite fun
and sad
today i cook noodles and my mum and aunt slurp it down their throat tastily
nvr play yoyo todae
and..........

how to create skin??

nvm

that's all......
rejected kid out..
nite nite suckers

2009-08-12T02:17:00.000-07:00

harlow,
juz now morning i decided to play psp in bus on the way to skool
i modified my wwe character as lidia and smacked nitam badly.
anyway,i tried stunner on lu maw but i was injured instead
i found out that my yoyo is not bad,it's due to the twisted string
i also disturbed nabila today....psps nabila,sorry
and i also disturbed shikin during lsa,b4 all ppl come into hall
i disturbed her hair
today,lu maw and my fake gf(huiQi) are horny
they look at a woman' performing for lsa panties....eeww
and lu maw was very excited
however,i went back to the control rm and did wad i'm supposed to....
and that is all for today

tc,aites
nitenite

WADEVA

2009-08-11T07:22:00.001-07:00

i dun steal....like nitam,haha,jk
so we stead fakely as wad jasmine said too
but the class outin seriously fun,except the part when my underwear got sandy wif siloso sands......
and the part hui qi deleted the picture,
and the part where nitam steal my fake gf....seriously
btw,got starscream toy on the class outin too....
my new yoyo isn't working as i thught it should
the long slipper is not great...
at school nothing happen,except for wad lu maw say abt mrs chang digging nose....
and oso lidia meet nitam at unforgiven....
btw class outin only got the three musketeers photo.....that's all
HUIQI,I REMEMBER,NO PHOTO IN CLASS OUTIN 2009,I REMEMBER.......
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

NITAM:IS MATIN
LIDIA:IS AIDIL
LAMJA:IS AJMAL

TC,AITES,NITENITE

2009-08-11T02:37:00.000-07:00

Dear frens,i changed my blog....
last time wann got sad memories....
btw,i like somebody now....and some of my real classmates knew it...so...it's not a secret